It is usual for parents to fuss over and worry about their kids. But, working moms and busy parents are often seen to do so with a tinge of guilt. They always worry about not spending ample time with their children and often overcompensate their absence with counterproductive actions. It is important here to remember that whether you are a working parent or a stay-at-home one – it is not the quantity but the quality of time that you spend with your child that matters.
So, if you are a working mom or a super busy parent looking to make a real difference in your child’s life through effective parenting, it is time you first ditched that guilt. Next, learn some tips for effective and fruitful parenting that will foster a strong bond and help you raise a resilient child. Childhood is often believed to be a happy and carefree phase of our lives. However, what parents often overlook is that it is also a very stressful phase for some kids as they navigate emotional upheavals, bullying, failure, uncertainties, complexes, challenges, and sometimes even trauma.
Parents need to build resilience in kids to help them foster the ability to persevere and thrive despite the challenges life throws their way. Once families imbibe the skills of resilience, their ability to handle stress enhances, overall relationships improve, and bonds strengthen.
Here are some ways to build resilience in your children, slow down the pace of life, and stay connected as a family:
1. Invest in one-on-one time
Even if you are a working mom with a full-time career, make sure you take out enough time from your schedule to have dedicated one-on-one sessions with each of your kids. The time not be shared between phone calls or meals, or chores. Invest in distraction-free time with your kiddo to converse and indulge. Not only does this tell your children that they are important, but it also builds trust and creates a scope for meaningful conversations. Even if it is just 10 minutes before bedtime or just the two of you in the car after school, anything where they have your sole attention. Once your kids get used to these sessions, they will know they have an opportunity to open up and share. The more you nurture your relationships, the more resilient your kids will become.
2. Emphasize the importance of engaging and empathizing
As a working mom, you have already learned the importance of having a support system. Teach the same to your children. Teach them why it is essential to stay connected with friends, engage with them, spend time together, and listen to others to have meaningful relationships for life. Suggest ways to help your children stay connected with their extended family, friends, and grandparents on chat, phone calls, or through weekly visits. Having a strong social connection, along with the skill of empathy, enhances resilience.
3. Create a routine and teach self-care
While routine offers comfort and structure to a child’s day, learning how to self-care makes children independent. As a working parent having a routine will benefit everyone in the family and help them function even when you are away. Have designated slots for homework and playtime while understanding the need for flexibility. The consistency from routine helps kids deal with other stressors and offers them the confidence that comes from being self-reliant.
4. Consciously introduce elements of delayed gratification
In today’s technology-driven world, everyone in the family wants everything to be done in an instance. However, being resilient means accepting that we cannot have whatever we want instantly. Experts believe that children who be happy even with delayed gratification are much happier and stress-free than those who cannot.
So how do we introduce delayed gratification? Play more board games, ask them to learn to play something on a musical instrument, watch a series episode-by-episode over the whole month, or learn a new sport. Such activities enhance mental flexibility and teach impulse control.
Have some unstructured times during the week or over the weekend where you let your kids be and figure out what they want to do independently. Getting bored for once and finding a solution on their own will eventually foster your child’s creativity and build resilience.
5. Teach your child the importance of helping others
As a working mom, keep at least one weekend or a Sunday every month for charitable activities. It could be a visit to an orphanage, a cleanliness drive, or even spending time with the elderly at the nursing homes. Take your kids along and let them be a part of the activity. You can also enroll your kid for age-appropriate volunteer work. Not only will these experiences build the skill of empathy in your children, but they will also make them feel good about themselves. Experts believe that children who feel helpless in some aspect of their life feel happy and empowered after helping others. It eventually paves the way to building resilience in kids.
6. Help your kids identify reasons to stay positive and grateful
As busy working parents, we often bring home the stress and complaints from the office. We discuss them in front of the kids and then subconsciously ask them how their day was. The result? Children inadvertently start highlighting what went wrong during the day.
Now try this — talk about what went well for you during the day — what made you happy, how you made someone happy, and what you learned during the day. When your kids hear this, they, too, will start thinking on the same lines. Now, ask them the same questions. You will realize that even through a seemingly not-so-good day, you all had some beautiful and unexpected reasons to be grateful and happy. Imagine the positivity and optimism it will generate besides being an excellent opportunity to build resilience, learn things about each other and bond well.